Late Night Thoughts

I havent been feeling very good today. My mental, emotional, and physical states have all been affected. I feel like I am on a roller coaster today. I’ve been happy and sad and energized and exhausted and frustrated and in pain and who knows what else. I really want to know what the point of today was. I think it was a day of wasted opportunities. Maybe if I could have ignored my feelings I would have seen what God had in store for me today. I guess everyone has an off day once in a while. For me this was just MORE off than usual.
Good night all.


What is Love?

There are so many definitions of love. How do you define love? What constitutes love? How should love be expressed? How do you know if someone loves you? Does the size of the rock matter to you? Is it the sound of your baby’s heart that makes your own beat faster? When your puppy licks your face, what do you feel?
But what about God’s love?
Lets think about this for a minute. Do you KNOW God loves you? Or are you not sure? Is God’s love conditional? No. Even if it feels that way, it never is. You see, God is love. God = love. Definition of LOVE: GOD. Are you getting the picture yet?
I opened up my YouVersion android Bible app, and searched the words GOD and LOVE. Guess how many times those words appear in the same verse together? Just give it a guess. I lost count at 200. The word GOD appears in the Bible 3,738 times. The word LOVE is in the Bible 380 times ( keyword reference).
What if you don’t know God?
Well, if you dont know God, then how can you truly know an experience His love? Its impossible. You can look around you and see it in others, but you cant see it in yourself. The truth is, His love is always in you and around you. He created you to love and be loved. Sadly enough, if you dont know God, though, you cannot see it. You see everything with dim eyes and a broken heart. I know, I’ve been there. But trust me, the moment you ask God to be in your life you begin to see clearly.
“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone….”
Its like you have never seen the world in the day light. The sunlight is starting to light up your path so you can see where you are going. Growing in your relationship with your Heavenly Father warms your heart and shapes your soul. Its like waking up to a beautiful sunrise, knowing that today will be beautiful.
Can you believe He gave us all these things? He gave us life. He gave us the universe to explore. He gave us our friends and family. He gave us a reason to live. He gave His ONLY son; fully man, fully divine, and COMPLETELY PERFECT AND SIN-FREE; so that we can spend an eternity basking in His love.
God has truly blessed me in so many ways. More ways than I can count to be honest. Learning and growing in Him is truly amazing. The smallest things begin to really count. I wake up, now, feeling happy rather than sad and not wanting to even get out of bed. Yes, I still have tough things to deal with and sins I commit, but God and His unending love and forgiveness help me to deal with them and move on. Look back at my previous blog entries. What do you see? A depressed girl who doesnt know how do deal. Homesickness. Pain. Suffering. A different person entirely. I am finally letting go of that girl, and becoming a woman of God.
God has brought me so many gifts to help me grow and get to know Him more. Student Venture was the first of a whole line of things to happen. My school guidance counselor, of all people, suggested the group to me shortly after I moved to the Boise area. It was small then, meeting during lunch in my History teacher’s room for less than 20 minutes every Friday. I attended here and there. Soon the group began meeting on Monday nights at the school, and I got to watch it grow little by little. I now attend every week and those wonderful people are my family. Miss Jessica (a leader) is like the big sister I never had. An all-girls Bible Study speared off from Student Venture. We just finished studying Esther. I have been attending a church, and I am looking forward to the Easter service this Sunday. We need to remember that Jesus died on the Cross for us and rose again. Praise God! I feel like my world is finally upright instead of sideways. Light instead of dark. Beautiful instead of ugly and tainted. Jesus IS my savior. I am ready to go walk his walk and talk his talk for the rest of my life!