Struggling to Breathe

I feel like with very time I write, my words become more honest and vulnerable. My friends have taught me how to do that. Anyone on the outside would say that this is a good thing, but sometimes I don’t really think it is. I don’t want people to see me hurting. I don’t want anyone to worry or show me any pity to be completely honest. A lot of times I feel like reaching out, I just think that everyone has their own problems and don’t need the stress of mine weighing on me. Lately I even feel like I don’t want to tell God whats going on and I absolutely hate that. I know that he wants to hear what I have to say but I don’t want to say it in the first place. I want to let my newer friends in and let them see who I am but I don’t want them to see the side of me I try so hard to conceal. I wonder if anyone ever sees the pain in my eyes. I can feel the tears trying to ruin my composure. I wonder if anyone ever really wonders if I’m ok. If you do, thank you. If you are wondering that about me, I’m probably not ok. My challenge to myself this week is go be more open with the people around me. I want to be vulnerable and welcoming and honest. I want to encourage you to do the same with your friends and peers.

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2 thoughts on “Struggling to Breathe

  1. I think that's a an amazingly brave and respectable challenge. Don't be afraid to be imperfect. If anything, it'll weed out the people who aren't in a place to be a support for you and show you who is really wanting to help carry your burdens. We all have baggage, but you know what? If we all invest into each other lives and all take part in holding up the weight of each others lives – even if it stays heavy – it's worth it, because we're doing it together. You're amazing for sharing this. Thanks Bekah. I'm praying for you today.

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